If these emails were true...
- I could get $5.6 million from Janet Hamson in Kuwait, whose husband left her this money. Now she's dying of strokes (poor Janet). She really wants to give this money to someone who will use it for orphanages and widows and nice fluffy things like that.
- If I would only contact Mr. Uba Ego in Paraguay, he will send me $800,000! What, oh what, am I waiting for?
- Barrister Greg Mba (what's a barrister?) is ready to make me next of kin to the unforunately deceased German Andreas Schranner. Although he doesn't say how much, this involves a "huge sum of money to" my corporation. You know, the Jared corporation.
- Poor Mrs. Jane Fowler of Dublin had her whole family die. Luckily (?) they left her $10 mil. Although I can't get the whole thing (she wants 6 million to go to "ministry"), if I give her my info, she'd set me with a cool three million for my efforts. Boy, it's a good thing she got saved and is ready to be so generous to complete strangers in Indiana - it's part of her revelation from God. She doesn't even know if I like Dublin or not.
- I've won the Euro Lotto sweepstakes! I get 12 million Euros (is that a lot?). Somebody in London really likes me.
- Mr. Sunny James, from Nigeria, is representing the late Mr. Henry and Doris Williams. Their earnings totaled $25 million, which is all sealed in a trunk somewhere in Europe just waiting for me (and my ministry). How cool that God led Sunny to find me on the internet after he was finished with his "fasting and prayers."
- Maxwell in London has less than 18 months to live and wants to give $20k to our ministry. Sorry, Maxwell, but this just doesn't stack up to the $25 million I've got waiting for me somewhere in Europe.
- Finally, can you find it in your heart to help Kebi Moyle, a Lebanese who's now in Ghana, hoping to come to America? See, he's got a lot of money to buy a house with, but wants you to keep it for him until he gets here. Boy, he trusts you more than I do.